Quote

If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Life
Later
Deal
Deals
Bigs
Born
Death
Eternally
Anything
Conception
Live
Begins

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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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