Quote

My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Money
Lift
Someone
Earn
Enough
Lifts
Make
Boxes
Weight
Pay
Education
Hauled
Father
Weights

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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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