Quote

Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Intensity
Starts
Slow
Violent
Develop
Become
Cramps
Love
Builds
Like
Consumed

More quotes by Dana Gould

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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
Dana Gould