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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Make
Fun
Says
Head
Voice
Stills
Still
Littles
Schizophrenics
Little
Okay

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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
Dana Gould
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
Dana Gould
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
Dana Gould