Quote

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Goes
Point
Away
School
Orgies
Enough
Clapping
Jumping
Showing
Joy

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
Image
Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
Dana Gould
Image
Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
Image
I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
Dana Gould
Image
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
Dana Gould
Image
To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
Dana Gould
Image
My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
Dana Gould
Image
I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
Image
My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
Dana Gould
Image
It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
Dana Gould
Image
If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
Dana Gould
Image
The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
Dana Gould
Image
Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
Dana Gould
Image
I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
Dana Gould
Image
It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
Dana Gould
Image
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
Image
My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Dana Gould
Image
When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
Dana Gould
Image
We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
Dana Gould
Image
I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
Dana Gould