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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Joy
Goes
Point
Away
School
Orgies
Enough
Clapping
Jumping
Showing

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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
Dana Gould