Quote

Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Suit
Boots
Ties
Rough
Suits
Chaps
Tough
Cowboy
Business
Bows
Men
Businessman

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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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