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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Suit
Boots
Ties
Rough
Suits
Chaps
Tough
Cowboy
Business
Bows
Men
Businessman
More quotes by Dana Gould
I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
Dana Gould