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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
World
Crying
Stranger
Naked
Cry
Room
Rooms
Leave
Entered
Full
Strangers
More quotes by Dana Gould
Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
Dana Gould
I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
Dana Gould
The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
Dana Gould
I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
Dana Gould
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould
The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
Dana Gould
I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
Dana Gould
Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
Dana Gould
Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
Dana Gould
Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
Dana Gould
Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
Dana Gould
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
Dana Gould
If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
Dana Gould
I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould