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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Naked
Cry
Room
Rooms
Leave
Entered
Full
Strangers
World
Crying
Stranger

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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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