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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Stranger
Naked
Cry
Room
Rooms
Leave
Entered
Full
Strangers
World
Crying
More quotes by Dana Gould
Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
Dana Gould
Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
Dana Gould
If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
Dana Gould
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
Dana Gould
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
Dana Gould
If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
Dana Gould
It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Dana Gould
Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
Dana Gould
What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
Dana Gould
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
Dana Gould
