Quote

Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Love
Apologizing
Sorry
Marriage
Means
Right
Mean
Never

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
Dana Gould
Image
How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
Dana Gould
Image
I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
Dana Gould
Image
How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Dana Gould
Image
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
Dana Gould
Image
I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould
Image
If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
Dana Gould
Image
Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
Dana Gould
Image
If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
Dana Gould
Image
I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
Dana Gould
Image
Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
Image
Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
Dana Gould
Image
If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
Dana Gould
Image
I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
Dana Gould
Image
As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
Dana Gould
Image
When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
Dana Gould
Image
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould
Image
My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Dana Gould
Image
What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
Dana Gould