Quote

I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Waiting
Women
Long
Way
Like
Impatiently
Coffee
Line
Lines

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
Dana Gould
Image
If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
Dana Gould
Image
If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
Dana Gould
Image
Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
Image
Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
Image
As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
Dana Gould
Image
Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
Dana Gould
Image
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
Dana Gould
Image
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould
Image
A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
Dana Gould
Image
Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
Dana Gould
Image
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Dana Gould
Image
If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
Dana Gould
Image
What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
Dana Gould
Image
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould
Image
To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
Dana Gould
Image
Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
Dana Gould
Image
Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
Dana Gould
Image
What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
Dana Gould
Image
There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
Dana Gould