Quote

Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Gas
Realized
Save
Pissing
Environment
Audition
Help
Pilot
Helping
Auditions
Home
Rope
Today
Pilots

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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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