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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Days
Many
Long
Would
Dryer
Dryers
Thirteen
Spent

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
Dana Gould