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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Getting
Tell
Years
Hillbilly
Reported
Alien
Aliens
Break
Since

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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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