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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Tell
Years
Hillbilly
Reported
Alien
Aliens
Break
Since
Getting

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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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