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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Reported
Alien
Aliens
Break
Since
Getting
Tell
Years
Hillbilly

More quotes by Dana Gould

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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
Dana Gould
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
Dana Gould