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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Created
Dreamt
Beings
Coincidence
Marriage
Traveling
Century
Centuries
Human
Sky
Humans
Later
Looked
Moon

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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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