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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Beings
Coincidence
Marriage
Traveling
Century
Centuries
Human
Sky
Humans
Later
Looked
Moon
Created
Dreamt

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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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