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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Beings
Coincidence
Marriage
Traveling
Century
Centuries
Human
Sky
Humans
Later
Looked
Moon
Created
Dreamt

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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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