Quote

Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Human
Sky
Humans
Later
Looked
Moon
Created
Dreamt
Beings
Coincidence
Marriage
Traveling
Century
Centuries

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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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