Quote

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Meet
Bigs
Poop
Women
Forgot
Always
Park
Bags
Parks
Leaving
Dog

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Competition is the death of art.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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