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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Grows
Bald
Guy
Sweat
Running
Pants
Reason
Track
Always
Shoes
People
Wear
Guys
Grow

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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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