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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Pants
Running
Reason
Track
Always
Shoes
People
Wear
Guys
Grow
Bald
Grows
Sweat
Guy

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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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Competition is the death of art.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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