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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Guy
Sweat
Running
Pants
Reason
Track
Always
Shoes
People
Wear
Guys
Grow
Grows
Bald

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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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