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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Eggs
Glass
Glasses
Cold
Nothing
Like
Satisfies

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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Competition is the death of art.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
Dana Gould
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
Dana Gould
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Dana Gould
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
Dana Gould