Quote

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.

Dana Gould

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TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Anything
Believe
Counsellor
Counsellors
Stifling
Guidance
Laugh
Laughing
Possible

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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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