Quote

Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Games
Ads
Like
Racial
Horses
Purity
Klux
Ghost
Klan
Advertising
Classified
Horse
Dressings
Tired
Dressing

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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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