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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Cat
Dog
Hell
Heaven
Place

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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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