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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Cat
Dog
Hell
Heaven
Place

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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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