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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Clown
Remind
Nightmare
Nothing
Like
Boner
Boners

More quotes by Dana Gould

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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
Dana Gould
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
Dana Gould
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
Dana Gould