Quote

There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Boners
Clown
Remind
Nightmare
Nothing
Like
Boner

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
Dana Gould
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
Dana Gould
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
Dana Gould
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
Dana Gould
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
Dana Gould
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
Dana Gould
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
Dana Gould
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
Dana Gould
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
Dana Gould
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
Dana Gould
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
Dana Gould
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
Dana Gould
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
Dana Gould
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
Dana Gould
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
Dana Gould
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
Dana Gould
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
Dana Gould
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
Dana Gould