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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Heterosexual
Bachelors
Sanctity
Holiness
Destroyed
Marriage
Going
Cancel
Bachelor
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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