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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Marriage
Going
Cancel
Bachelor
Heterosexual
Bachelors
Sanctity
Holiness
Destroyed
More quotes by Dana Gould
I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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