Quote

Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Style
Jesus
Bigs
Woman
Back
Tattoo
Guess
Saws

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
Dana Gould
Image
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
Image
Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
Image
One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
Dana Gould
Image
I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
Dana Gould
Image
A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
Dana Gould
Image
How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Dana Gould
Image
It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Dana Gould
Image
If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
Dana Gould
Image
Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
Image
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould
Image
People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
Dana Gould
Image
If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
Dana Gould
Image
I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
Dana Gould
Image
Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
Dana Gould
Image
The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
Dana Gould
Image
My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
Dana Gould
Image
I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
Dana Gould
Image
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
Dana Gould