Quote

Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Bigs
Woman
Back
Tattoo
Guess
Saws
Style
Jesus

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Competition is the death of art.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
Dana Gould
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould