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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Style
Jesus
Bigs
Woman
Back
Tattoo
Guess
Saws
More quotes by Dana Gould
Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
Dana Gould
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
Dana Gould
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
Dana Gould
If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
Dana Gould
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould
Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
Dana Gould
Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
Dana Gould
Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
Dana Gould
I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
Dana Gould
Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
Dana Gould
Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
Dana Gould
Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
Dana Gould
My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
Dana Gould
Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
Dana Gould
Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
Dana Gould
The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
Dana Gould
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
Dana Gould
I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
Dana Gould
