Quote

Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Style
Jesus
Bigs
Woman
Back
Tattoo
Guess
Saws

More quotes by Dana Gould

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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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Competition is the death of art.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
Dana Gould
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
Dana Gould
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
Dana Gould
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
Dana Gould
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
Dana Gould
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould