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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Given
Kidding
Goats
Laying
Amongst
Perfume
Donkeys
Gifts
Manger
Christ
Incense
Born
Donkey
More quotes by Dana Gould
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
Dana Gould
Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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