Quote

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Perfume
Donkeys
Gifts
Manger
Christ
Incense
Born
Donkey
Given
Kidding
Goats
Laying
Amongst

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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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