Quote

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Amongst
Perfume
Donkeys
Gifts
Manger
Christ
Incense
Born
Donkey
Given
Kidding
Goats
Laying

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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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