Quote

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Born
Donkey
Given
Kidding
Goats
Laying
Amongst
Perfume
Donkeys
Gifts
Manger
Christ
Incense

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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould