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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Like
Roof
Pants
Cold
Came
Look
Looks
Reindeer
Really
Poop
Make
Santa
More quotes by Dana Gould
They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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Competition is the death of art.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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