Quote

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Make
Santa
Like
Roof
Pants
Cold
Came
Look
Looks
Reindeer
Really
Poop

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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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