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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Celebrate
Findings
Finding
Home
May
Thanksgiving
Every
Homeless
People
Join
Feed
More quotes by Dana Gould
What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
Dana Gould
The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
Dana Gould
Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
Dana Gould
The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
Dana Gould
Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
Dana Gould
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
Dana Gould
I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
Dana Gould
It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Dana Gould
A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
Dana Gould
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould
What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
Dana Gould
I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
Dana Gould
Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
Dana Gould
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
Dana Gould
They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
Dana Gould
You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
Dana Gould
