Quote

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Behinds
Behind
Information
Stop
Giggling
Asks
Shrink
Everything
Shrinks
Much
Responding
Pillow

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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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