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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Parent
Dressed
Belief
Beliefs
Hate
Bill
Kids
Reform
Care
Bills
Scary
Costume
Aren
Halloween
Health
Costumes

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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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