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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Hate
Bill
Kids
Reform
Care
Bills
Scary
Costume
Aren
Halloween
Health
Costumes
Parent
Dressed
Belief
Beliefs

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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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