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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Kids
Reform
Care
Bills
Scary
Costume
Aren
Halloween
Health
Costumes
Parent
Dressed
Belief
Beliefs
Hate
Bill

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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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