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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Wait
Moved
Waiting
Action
Men
Pudding
Inability
Invented
Instant

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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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