Quote

The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Men
Pudding
Inability
Invented
Instant
Wait
Moved
Waiting
Action

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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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