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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Inability
Invented
Instant
Wait
Moved
Waiting
Action
Men
Pudding

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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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