Quote

I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Feel
Sorry
Feels
Team
Cougars
Like
High
Horny
Stills
Teams
School
Ladies
Doe
Named
Still
Coach
Play
Coaches

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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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