Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
Dana Gould
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Morning
Sweetheart
Trends
Mom
Late
More quotes by Dana Gould
My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
Dana Gould
I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
Dana Gould
Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
Dana Gould
What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
Dana Gould
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
Dana Gould
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
Dana Gould
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould
One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
Dana Gould
This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould
Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
Dana Gould
Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
Dana Gould
What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
Dana Gould
Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
Dana Gould
If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
Dana Gould
We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
Dana Gould
Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
Dana Gould
Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
Dana Gould
Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
Dana Gould