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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Cool
Window
Hobos
Longer
Pies
Takes
Pie
Wonder
Warming
Whole
Caused
Thing
Raises
Global
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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