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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Comes
Cupcakes
Stills
Cake
Still
Entire
Feel
Weight
Feels
Eating
Pride
Watches
Watch

More quotes by Dana Gould

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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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