Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Watch
Comes
Cupcakes
Stills
Cake
Still
Entire
Feel
Weight
Feels
Eating
Pride
Watches
More quotes by Dana Gould
My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
Dana Gould
Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
Dana Gould
If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
Dana Gould
There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
Dana Gould
I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
Dana Gould
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
Dana Gould
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould
Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
Dana Gould
What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
Dana Gould
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould
Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
Dana Gould
I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould
Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
Dana Gould
Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
Dana Gould
We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
Dana Gould
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
Dana Gould
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould