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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Mistakes
Afraid
Longer
Mistake
Making
Enough

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
Dana Gould
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
Dana Gould